Of course, because this is one of the best times of my life, I'm not feeling any of the sorrow or wistfulness that Miranda sings about. But I can completely relate to the desire to just catch a glimpse of your history; to for a minute, step back into the place where you started. Here are the lyrics to her song (if you aren't familiar already):
I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me
Now check this out: when mom and I pulled up to the house, I hauled Landon out of the backseat of the car and walked directly to the concrete patch below the front steps, and lo and behold, right where we left 'em....
ADJ and RTJ, 9.1.87.
Seeing it really did make my eyes a little misty; for some reason I can remember the exact day we did that. And in the years since, I've lived in another house in Moorhead, then Idaho Falls, then Missoula (5 homes there!) Alexandria, VA (2 houses there), and back to Fargo, where I'm in my third home since coming back. There is something so awesome about coming "home" to your very first house.
As mom and I walked through the property, it was obvious that most of the home had been updated (as it should have been... mom and dad had the house built 30 years ago!) but we're pretty certain the kitchen appliances are original, as was the bathroom light fixture, door hardware, laundry room flooring, stairway handrails, fireplace mantel, and all of the woodwork. We looked into the backyard where our swingset and sandbox had been, and discussed how it seemed so much bigger back then. It brought back the best memories. So glad we went, and so glad my mom was there to share it with me.
I want to say that the carpeting is no longer there, but the rest of the fireplace looks exactly like this! (Nice look, Ryan!)
Here I am with Grandpa in the living room of my first house.
And, just because it happens to be on my computer, this is how a baby sleeps when she has an older brother. (Pic also taken in our first house).
In other news, look at this cutie's newest achievements:
Learning to suck on his fingers, just like his daddy did as a little guy!
... And sitting in his Bumbo! (Thanks Katherine, I think he's going to really like it!)
